I have now been a father for eight and a half months, and I have learned a lot during that time. About myself and…other things. Lots and lots of other things. Way too many other things.
WHAT I’VE LEARNED AFTER BECOMING A FATHER:
I learned there is a lot more to using a blender than putting food in and hitting “blend.”
I learned that avocados are impossible to be cut if they are not SUPER ripe.
I learned that three people — one of them an almost nine-month-old — can go through an entire household supply of silverware. In a single day. Multiple days a week.
I have learned that dishwashers really are a godsend.
I learned that I am very bad at snaps. Like, embarrassingly bad. Like, screwing up on the snaps of her clothes at least twice a day.
I learned a new level of exhaustion. Our daughter sleeps through the night, and we get more sleep now than we did before she arrived, and yet I am completely wiped every hour of every day. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for parents of kids who don’t sleep. My heart, and coffee, goes out to them.
I have learned that ignoring laundry for one day makes the pile seem so insurmountable that one day becomes three days, and all of a sudden we’re doing nothing but laundry.
I learned what a potty mouth I have. I knew I liked to use certain four-letter words, but now that I’m hyper-aware of what actions and words of mine my child will mimic, I really need to cut the $#!+.
I learned that becoming a dad doesn’t automatically make me more mature. It’s like a birthday — suddenly there’s something different about me, but I’m still the same me, so there’s really nothing different about me.
I’ve learned what my wife said about being a parent rings as true now as it did when our daughter was born: “tired, clueless, and completely in love.”